im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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