Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
