he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
