I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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