So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
