Jerry, you need to find god
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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