what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize