Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
