You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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