and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
