everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
