I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
