we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
