ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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