i just had sex bonerless
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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