Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
