i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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