yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
