so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
