I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
