I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
