oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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