I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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