you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
