thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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