Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
