Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
