Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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