Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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