I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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