I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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