There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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