I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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