So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
