actually, I'm a sock model
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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