who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
