sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
