im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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