i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
