I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
