i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
