I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
