sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
