I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
