She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
