What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
