Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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