Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
