we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
