Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
